the carpeted supermarket

    Riddle’s is the only supermarket on this four mile long and less than a mile across peninsula called Hull. It still has the 1960s maroon red carpet in every isle, except the vinyl strip in front of the meats and seafood. I went to buy bananas all of which were green, so I asked the pale produce guy in his red Riddle’s apron if he had any ripe ones around. He questioned my motives, “Banana bread, eh?”

“No, I just like them really ripe.”

“Oh, well you can check the discounted section.”

He lead me to a shelf adjacent to the meat counter. On it were boxes of $3.79 strawberries now 79 cents, boxes of $2.99 mushrooms for 89 cents, mixed peppers, cabbage and potatoes for $1.49, the gourmet cupcakes marked from $5.99 to $2.00, old breads and bagels for 99 cents. I felt I had entered temple. Ecstatic, I reached for a box of strawberries just as two old Hullonians ladies carted up. The first, in a hot pink sweatshirt and with a heavy polish accent quickly began swiping each shelf: all the boxes of mushrooms- gone! The rest of the four boxes of strawberries- gone! All the cantaloupes- gone!  The other Hullonian lady, much leaner and with less vigor, began to shout.

“Well aren’t you going to leave any for the rest of us?” she pushed her way in clearing the breads into her basket.

“Take what you want, I am not stopping you,” the first replied not stopping. Her accent was as bitter as the old cabbage she complained was still over priced at 1.49.

Within the next 45 seconds the Hullonians cleared the shelf, leaving behind some cupcakes, stale bagels, a torn box of organic cheerios and a dented cans of beets. Upon departing, the leaner one asked if I wanted anything and if so, to hurry up a get it. I smiled and grabbed a loaf of day old hard Ciabatta bread.

the discount shelf is hidden behind the right of deli in case you are new to Hull

Sincerely, one Jew to another